Eggman's Love Plan

Eggman went around the meeting table straightening out the papers.  He grinned sinisterly and his gut jiggled as he ran to the door.  The bell rung and the fat man was excited.  He opened it to find all the Sonic characters waiting outside.  "My guests!"
"Alright Eggshit"  Sonic stepped in and others followed.  "What is the reason for calling this stupid town meeting??  You lost your butt plug??"
"All will be answered in time, Sonic!"  Eggman smiled as everyone sat down.  When Shadow tried to look at the paper in front of him, Eggman shot a gun in the air.  Everyone jumped.  "No touching the paper until I say, pretty boy!...God damn chest fluff…"  Eggman sat down and started up his computer which was projected on a screen.  Everyone yawned and Knuckles eyed Sonic closely.
"Hey Sonic…"
"What's up Knuckle head?"  Sonic folded his hands on the table.
"I saw your hands under the table…stop messing with Tails…"  Sonic just shrugged.  "Fucking faggots"
"Alright everyone!"  Eggman used a remote to change slides on the screen.  Big letters pooped up, "Who is the faggot?" it read.
"Is this some kind of a sick joke?"  Silver stood and Shadow rubbed his chest fluff.
"Wait!  First off…thanks for trusting me to come here!  Its not like I'd all get you in the same place to blow you up or anything!"  Knuckles and Shadow grabbed a baseball bat from under the table, Eggman put his hands up.  "Geez!  Just kidding!  Flip the papers over!"  The papers said "write down who you like"
"This is none of your business, fat fuck" Knuckles scowled, his mouth hidden in anger.  
"This is for the best!"  Eggman glared.  "Everyone keeps calling each other faggots when they are a faggot themselves!  It's time to come out of the closet!  Blaze, why don't you start?"  The sexy stood up.
"Well…I've always liked Rouge…she has the perfect ass" Everyone nodded and clapped lightly.  Rouge crossed her arms.
"Too bad, I like Amy and Shadow"
"Awwwww…."  Eggman smiled warmly.
"See?  This is going great!  How about you Silver?"
"Me?..,"  He stood and looked at Tails.  "I like a certain little fox with a small furry cock…"  He winked, Tails cuddled against Sonic in fear" Everyone clapped.
"There we go!  Big?"  Big stood and everyone scooted away and covered their eyes.  They heard a thump on the table and knew what it was.
"I like to stick it in anything that moves"
"Ha!   Amy?"  
"Well…of course I like Sonic but…"
"Excuse me!?"  Rouge glared.
"I was going to say I like you too!"  Rouge smacked the younger girl in the face, everyone smiled warmly.  Amy blushed, "Not here, baby…"
"Don't 'baby' me!  Tonight, you are going down honey!"  Everyone clapped.
"Shadow?"  Eggman leaned back eagerly.
"Well I tried to rape Sonic about five times now, what do you think?"
"Answer"
"I like Sonic…"  He rubbed his fluff and glared at Sonic, "slippery little boner…"
"…Anyone else?"
"Well Silver is my bang buddy but that's it"
"…Anyone else?"
"No"
"….No one comes to mind?  Anyone round or….older?"
"Gah, I don't like Big!"  Everyone looked at Big.
"Big ass faggot!"  Knuckles crossed his arms.
"Not Big!  I meant…"  Eggman turned away a moment…he took off his sun glasses.  "Me…"
"No"  Eggman slammed his fist into the table and pointed a gun at Shadow.  The black hedgehog stood with his arms up and everyone stood.
"Woah…easy Eggman"
"You're right…everyone just fill out the papers!"  Everyone started writing.  Knuckles was scribbling but then slammed his pencil down and stood.  Everyone stared.
"Can we just stop this shit already!?"  He looked around.  "We are all fucking flaming faggots!  And all the girls are carpet munchers!  Jesus Christ, is there anyone in this god damn room who isn't a faggot!?"  Everyone was silent.   
"I'm a dyke and proud of it"
"I SAID FAGGOTS NOT DYKES!"  Rouge flinched.
"Soooorrrry…what crawled up your cock and died"  Knuckles flipped over the table and everyone started to run.  Knuckles grabbed Rouge and the woman struggled.  
"Listen up batty…I want you strip and all of us look away!"  Rouge obeyed, everyone was looking the other way while she stripped.  After a minute Knuckles threw a chair across the room.  "You guys are all faggots!  Not one of you looked back at Rouge except Amy and Blaze!  How can you not stare at that ass!?"
"You didn't look either!"  Knuckles glared at Sonic and began walking to him.
"Let's settle this once and for all Sonic…"  Knuckles grabbed a baseball bat…
-------------TO BE CONTINUED